day one: was all I could do to stay at work. left 30 minutes early. last minute packing and picked up Aubrey. walmart. gas. driiiiiiiiiivvvvvvveeeee to st. george. chill with Elsie for a bit. made the Taco Bell guy’s night. sleep.
day two: drive to Vegas. got hit on buy a car full of senior-tripping boys. one of them rolled down his window to show me his nipple. yelled back that I was old enough to be his mother (a stretch… but still). lost exactly one dollar on the slots. received phone call from Angie explaining their flight left without them. boo to United Airlines. toured LAX to kill time. ate dessert in under 6 minutes. arrive in the Kona Airport… it’s outdoors. kinda cool. couldn’t pick up the rental car I rented because I put in under Angie’s name… who was still in SLC… boo to Expedia and Budget. check into our condo… pretty sweet. buy some food. sleep.
day three: got lei’d in church. finally! found a temple. got owned by the ocean and made everyone at the beach’s day simultaneously. picked up Angie and Mandy at the airport. party. sleep.
day four: went for a morning run along the ocean. love. rented boogie boards and snorkel gear. got talked into going to a time share meeting for $150 cash money and discounts for the whole group. met scuba steve thanks to Elsie. went snorkeling. loved snorkeling. glamour shots on the beach with the girls. was serenaded by Isreal. bought Isreal’s CD. ate some fancy Ono fish and a flower and some POG juice. sleep.
day five: was insulted at the time share meeting. got kicked out of the time share meeting. went to the beach. sliced my ankle on some lava rock. more snorkeling. watched a turtle on the beach. tried to catch some rays. shared some delicious Scandinavian shave ice. kayaked to British territory to see Captain Cook’s Monument. picked up some white coral off the bottom of the ocean while snorkeling. was surrounded my a hundred dancing dolphins in my kayak. most breathtaking moment of. my. life. run to the beach to catch the sunset. dinner at the island grill. watched some islander’s play volleyball. walked home. sleep.
day six: rode on a bus aaaalllllllllll the way around the island. never turned down so much free kona coffee in my life. visited a Hawaiian sweet bread bakery… ohhhh heaven. went as far south as I have ever been. stood on a black sand beach. ate lunch with a volcano. walked through a lava tube. visited the mauna loa macadamia nut factory. candy shop. waterfalls. condo. wandered around kona looking for dinner at 10:30 pm with Aubrey. everything’s closed. some guys pulled over and showed us a sushi place to eat. yum. played wing-woman for Aubrey and hung out with the guys after sushi… against my gut instinct. no i will not make out with you, island boy. i said no. freak out. called Beau… all better. it’s late. sleep.
day seven: made myself a lei. learned to hula. relaxed by the pool. tried not to be so white. luau on the beach? yes, please.
day eight: got myself a henna tattoo. loved it. still love it. checked out the Kona farmer’s market. met Gary on the street. called him a hippie… he’s not a hippie, he’s a gypsy. apparently mixing the two up is insulting. more Scandinavian shave ice with Angie. boogie boarding on a gorgeous white sand beach. perfect sunset. hit up LuLu’s for some dancing. met Hugo. he’s a puerto rican living in Hawaii. random. we become buddies and take pictures in the parking lot. his cousin is wasted and doesn’t know English as well as Hugo. i’m sorry…. i’m drink. laugh. out. loud. in bed at 3 am.
day nine: wake up at 6. three hours of sleep… great. slept through the 2 hour drive to waipio valley for horseback riding. tour guide makes me a little uncomfortable. Coco the horse treated me good. waipio valley=gorgeous. our tour guide intentionally hits a tourists car along a cliff for not yielding to him. a huge verbal blowup ensues. i’m terrified for my life. knew i didn’t like that tour guide. back to the condo to pack. last chance to shop. ate a hamburger as big as my face at Splasher’s. watched the ocean for one last time… surf was amazing. one last Scandinavian shave ice with the girls. laid on top of Aubrey and Angie in our rental car… my seat was occupied by luggage. hate the kona airport.
day ten: sleeping pills on the flight to LAX. sleep at LAX. almost missed our flight to Vegas… when did they change the gate? sleep to Vegas. Elsie’s dad takes the scenic route around Vegas toward st. george. try to sleep in the car. two hour nap at Elsie’s. head for home. In-n-Out in st. george? pull over. mmmmmm. forgot some stuff at Elsie’s… go back. head out for real. make the drive in 4 hours and 10 minutes including two potty stops. sleeeeeeeeeeeep.