Friday night was wild. Wild I tell you. I ventured out to the Home Remodeling and Decorating Show which was, well to put it frankly, lame. We did pick up some delicious coconut cream sauce and an undercoat hair brush for the Kodi dog and some guy tried to convince me that the Nephites lived in North America, not South (who knows, really?). Oh, and I met Therm- the Energy Wise Guy and promised him I’d put the picture we took together up as my Facebook Profile picture (which I still haven’t done). Aside from the lame-ness (not including the obvious coolness of the coconut sauce, brush and Therm), there was one major highlight of the evening.
The highlight of the evening was when my mother made me get my hair straightened by some random chick showing all together too much cleavage. I’ve gotten pretty darn good at ignoring everybody who calls to get my attention as I walk through the mall, or the Home Show, or down the street or whatever. People yell at me and I ignore it. My mom, however, didn’t ignore it and made me sit in the stupid chair and look in the stupid mirror as cleavage girl curled one quarter of my hairs.
Cleavage Girl: “Isn’t it nice? It’s ceramic and heated with infrared light so it won’t damage your hair.”
Me: “Yeah, that’s nice but I just got a new one for Christmas.”
CG: “What kind was it? Was it a Chi?”
Me: “Honestly I don’t remember what kind it was.”
CG: “Well, how much did you pay for it?”
Me: “I don’t know, I got it for Christmas. Mom?”
Mom: “I paid $125 for it.”
CG: “Oh. Well, where did you get it?”
Mom: “Our stylist recommended it.”
CG: “Oh, well it’s probably made with metal plates which will damage your hair. This one wont. Feel how soft your hair is. Feel it. Here, feel it.”
So I touched my hair. My mom did, too.
CG: “So, which style do you like? We have cheetah, zebra, tattoo and pink. Which one is your favorite?”
Me: Thinking: none. Said: “Uh… zebra.”
CG: “Okay, let’s get it for you!”
Me: “I don’t need it, I just got one for Christmas.”
CG: “Is the one you got for Christmas made with ceramic plates and zebra print?”
I got worried she was going to leave my hair one quarter curled, but she straightened it back.
Me: “Can I get a card?” You know, compensation for wasting her time and all.
CG: “Yeah, but a card won’t straighten your hair.”
Seriously! She said that! She was the most pushy chipper cleavage showing girl ever, up until she realized she wasn’t going to make a sale. Then she turned into a bee-otch.