Archive for May, 2010

This conversation just happened in my office. We’ll call him Frank. I used to work with Frank until he moved to a new department about a year ago. He stops by and says hi to us every now and again.

Frank: “Hey Cambria, how are you doing?”

Me: “Oh, hey Frank! Pretty good, how have you been?”

“I’m doing pretty good. So… are you married yet or what?” (he asked me this every time we talk)

“Uh, no.”

“What? Why not? What’s the deal?”

“Well, we actually broke up. Like, last Wednesday.”

“Oh no! I’m so sorry… uh, man… I have really good timing, don’t I?”

“Oh, it’s alright. I guess it was just time, you know? It’s hard but it will be alright. So what about you, any babies yet?” (Did I mention he’s married?)

“Who me? Oh, no.”

“What? Why not? What’s the hold up?”

“We actually got divorced. Like, a month ago.”

“Oh, no Frank, I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay… it was time.”

“Wow, we both have good timing, don’t we?”

And then we laughed. What are the odds?

“Well, I’ll see ya later Cambria.”

“Yeah, see ya Frank.”

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Those were some of the last words he said to me. Those are the words that keep repeating in my mind. Over and over and over. “You go out and get what you want.” I’ve probably thought that phrase hundreds maybe a thousand times since Wednesday evening. “You go out and get what you want.” A chapter in my life has closed. A chapter many people had opinions about, but a chapter that I don’t regret. I loved him. I still love him. And I know he loves me. But we both knew from the beginning, we were different… and we knew that would make it hard. We had to give it a shot. Two years. We spent two years together. And we were happy. He helped me through some hard times. I helped him grow. We had our ups and we had our downs, but in the end we always loved each other. It was time. We both had to face what we’ve been avoiding for so long. It hurts. He told me “You go out at get what you want.” I want him. But I also want something he can’t give me. He wants me. But he also wants me to be happy. So where does that leave us? Closing a chapter. Opening a new one. I’m going to take his advise… but not right now. Not quite yet. I still hurt. I’m still a little bit confused. We did the right thing, right? Can’t we simply go on pretending it would work out forever? No, we knew this was right. We still know it but that doesn’t make it any easier. So I guess I just have to take his advise, one slow step at a time… and be thankful for what we had.


Current NFS:

Where I Stood, by Missy Higgins

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This video is amazing. This woman is beautiful.

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Where has April gone? Where have I gone??? Oh yeah, I’m buying a house, watching the Jazz playoffs, training for the Ogden half  marathon (which might possibly be a disaster), working two jobs, planning a yard sale, organizing a few photo shoots, and oh yeah… did I mention buying a house? A HOUSE! What am I, an adult or something?!?!

I close on May 26th and to say I’m stoked would be an understatement!

Update! Due to the loan officer botching my loan, I will now be closing June 25th. It’s okay, it just gives me more time to collect stuff!

Speaking of owning my very own home, if anyone has an extra vacuum, broom, shower curtain, mixer, set of really cute dishes, cute dining room table, hose, lawn mower… basically anything you need for a house… lying around could you send it my way? That would be awesome! I kinda have nothing. Okay, I lied. I don’t have nothing. I got a free brand-spankin’ new fridge for being cute, nice washer and dryer, and an old couch. And my mom said I can take my bed and dresser with me… but I have to return them one day. Haha.


OH, and I’m looking for one more roommate. Aubrey is roommate number one and we’re on the search for lucky number two. Whoever it is will seriously be lucky… I mean come on! Live with Aub and me? What would be more awesome than that? Nothing. Except maybe furniture to go with it. SO, if you, dear reader, or anyone you know is looking for a place to live, LET ME KNOW! Move in date is Saturday, May 28th.

In closing, I would like to leave you with a cell phone pic of my new abode. sigh…. I love it.

P.S. I got them to paint the door blue to match the shutters, awes right?


Current NFS:

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want by She & Him

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